Yesterday commented on the natural phenomena of people looking for new churches in the fall. Today and tomorrow I wish to post an article that I came across almost 20 years ago while in seminary about how to leave a church well. I believe this article is helpful, and I have often looked for ways to include it in my new member's classes (I am a strange bird).
Why?
How we leave can either bring glory to God or it can damage the work of the Kingdom. If one leaves well, they can even leave for differences in direction and vision without being a hindrance. I would love to know what you think. Part 2 will come tomorrow.
How to Leave a Church
Richard C. Nichol¹
Four Stories
1.
Jill had been bothered for months about what she felt
to be the lack of the Spirit’s moving in her congregation. She decided to write a letter of resignation
and express her feelings. She mailed it on
Monday, determining that the previous Sunday was her last. “Quick and decisive” was her thought. “Like removing a Band-Aid.” The shock was felt by all, but especially the
children in the Sunday School class she had taught for two years.
2.
Marty was upset about the lack of an emphasis on
Evangelism in his church. But not
wanting to make a big scene, he began showing up every other week, then once a
month. When asked if there was a problem
he smiled and answered, “No. No specific
problem. I’ve just been busy
lately.” Now, Marty is not returning
phone calls from people in the congregation.
His time at the congregation is fast becoming a memory. The people miss him but no one really knows
what to think.
3.
When Rachel first came to her fellowship she was sure
she had come home. She told everyone how
fantastic the congregation was. Now,
three years later she’s not so sure. The
Pastor really hurt her by his unkind comment about her singing. And people just don’t seem as friendly
anymore. “Maybe it’s time to leave,” she
muses. She began visiting another
congregation in town. “This is the one,”
she has been saying. “People here are
truly loving here.”
4.
Steve and Carol have been furious lately because their
seven year old son, Mark, is constantly being labeled as “rude and
disrespectful” by the Sunday School’s teachers.
And Mark has told them that the reports about his hitting and biting the
other children are not true. His parents
can no longer support any such congregation that demonstrates so little love
for their child. They believe there is
nothing to talk about, They are
leaving. Period.
These stories illustrate three truths: 1) People leave the congregations with which
they have been members. 2) Leaving can
be entirely justified but doing so in the wrong way causes pain and
confusion. 3) Leaving for the wrong
reasons is especially harmful.
LEAVING CAN BE OKAY
Change is part of life.
American culture is dynamic – always changing. This is positive in some respects. For example, our ability to move easily to
other cities has been a great blessing to people looking for suitable
employment. And just as it may be
justifiable to switch jobs or move to another city, it may be justifiable for a
Christian to leave the congregation he or she had been a member of.
Some reasons for change:
- The
congregation has gotten into trouble ethically or doctrinally,
- You
may find traveling long distances to services may not be feasible over a
long period of time,
- You
may feel he or she has outgrown a congregation. That is, the values of the congregation
may no longer reflect your deepest beliefs.
There are other legitimate reasons
to leave.
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