As we move into another weekend, I have been wrestling with what to post. As I have been praying, I am reminded that this week I have been wrestling against much more than indecision on what to post!
At least once a week since I moved to Seattle, I have been awakened in the middle of the night with deep seated fear. My heart is pounding and I am convinced someone or something is in the house. Yuck! After I awake with such a start, I then cannot get back to sleep for hours if at all. What is going on?
Two nights ago it happened ago. M.E. went to bed early and I followed around 11. We did pray together since she was asleep. I awoke with this fear at 1:15 AM. After determining no one was in the house, I was flooded with thoughts of my house not selling, nothing working out in this new ministry, fear for my children. It was awful.
I prayed about each of these thoughts and much more for hours. Still I had no peace. Then, I realized this was a direct spiritual attack of some kind. I prayed that the Lord would deliver me from the evil one and his schemes. I prayed for protection and against his lies. Within minutes, I slept soundly until 8.
So, what is going on here? I believe I did experience, and I have been experiencing direct, fear-producing attacks from the evil one. By God's grace, I will "resist him, standing firm in the faith." Please join me in prayer! Often when the Spirit is doing about to do something great or is doing something great, the evil one will try to stop it through direct attack or through using division within the body of Christ.
Please pray for me and with me against these schemes. Pray that the Spirit will run freely here bringing many to faith and many others to a place of deeper repentance and trust! Pray for my family that they might find renewed joy and hope with this move. Also pray that my house sells in Maine so that burden is lifted. It is such a great place with so much property, I am shocked it has not been seen by more people. Pray that the veil will be lifted so people will look at it, love it, and buy it (or at least be good renters for many years!).
"For the Lord has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and self-discipline."
2 Tim. 1:7
"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith;"
1 Peter 5: 7-8
I am not a man who walks in fear often. My much like sin tendencies is the opposition: I often blunder ahead with too little fear or self-concern. Yet, today I am not feeling well, and I feel very unsure about everything. It is not that I am quaking in my boots, but I lack direction and empowerment from the HS. I have gnawing doubts and, dare I say it, fear. Perhaps I might be better off if I just take a nap!
Even as I feel this way, I was running through these scriptures and claiming the Lord's victory in my life. What's going on? My youngest has had a high fever for three days. It is easily treated with Ibuprofen. When the fever is down, he is up playing and laughing. When the fever rages, he is lethargic and fussy. Is this the same mystery disease that plagued another of my sons for almost five years? Every 26-30 days for these five years, my son would have a terrible sore throat, a really high fever (104-106) and lethargy. When the fever is treated with Ibuprofen, he was up and playing. This condition is known and I have a doctor's appointment for him at 3:45 to confirm. (By the way, this fever never came back!)
Why do my kids get this? Does it cause permanent damage? Why does this strike just as I feel the Lord's leading to quickly finish all my work on spiritual warfare and how it relates to authentic grace-centered spirituality? Honestly, I stopped the work last fall because I grew so tired of the direct attacks from the evil one. Is it worth it?
Here I remind myself of my own writing. Perfect love casts out fear! Here are some thoughts on fear, doubt, and the work of the devil. May they draw us all to prayer and fellowship with the one who has the victory!
For many of us, we kind of like the way that Christian leaders and others have told us that those who sensationalize the devil have it all wrong. We enjoying making fun of the "demon behind every bush" theology, and those who claim "the devil made me do it" when caught in any sin. As a result, most of us do not study Satan's schemes, and we live our lives as practical secularists who deny a spiritual dimension to the temptations and issues in our lives.
On the other hand, there are churches and individuals who make every element of the Christian life a battle between God and Satan that we decide. These folks live as practical dualists who give too much credit to Satan and his forces. Often, they also neglect the awesome power and victory of Christ over Satan and his forces. Neither position reflects the true direction of biblical teaching.
Both of today's passages describe one of Satan's primary methods of attack on the Christian: fear. When we live in fear, we do not live a life of faith and trust. Instead, we are marked by self-regard, self-effort, and a lack of knowledge of the true God. Paul reproves Timothy because he lives in fear. The gospel gives us a spirit of power and love and discipline, not fear!
Peter tells us that our adversary prowls like a roaring lion. I have heard it said that the roaring lion is not the one to worry about. He roars to drive fear into his prey so that the intended victim runs away from the roar. What the prey does not know is that his scheme drives them directly to the other lions in the pride so they can kill it.
Peter warns us to be aware and alert. He commands us to stand firm in the gospel. The devil may roar; but when you hear it, arm yourself with the gospel and Christ's victory!
As Mark Bubeck states, "The victory of Christ over Satan is total and complete. The person who appropriates and applies by faith the victory which Christ has purchased and provided will find a gracious, God-authored courage stabilizing his inner man." The Adversary, 80.
Fear takes many forms in our fallen world. Some are wise and some are harmful. It is wise to fear the 1800 pound bull in my back field. I give him a healthy respect and distance. Yet, I do not walk about in constant thought and fear of that animal! I am "sober minded" about his power and I seek to respect and be mindful of his power. I know he has a job to do, and I am allowing him to do it without putting myself, my family, or visitors in his path. I think this is wise fear, because it is really respect and knowledge of this beast's power.
Other types of fear are mixed between wise and harmful. It all depends upon what you do with it. Most of these fears are even socially accepted! For example, it is prudent to lock your doors in these desperate times. Yet, those who live in fear of being robbed, those who think about it all the time, those who check their doors repeatedly for fear of an intruder do not walk in faith. They believe that their resources and diligence will save them. Where does God fit into this picture? Most likely He doesn't. Still, it is socially acceptable and encouraged to lock your doors! Where do we draw the line? That is a question for each of us. If we walk in fear, we need to repent and ask God for mercy to rest and trust. We need to ask for His protection.
Another example is parenting. How many of us fear for the future of our children? It is true that we have a responsibility to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Yet, study after study has shown that those in the 20s now have been "overly protected" by their parents from life's hardships. Why? I believe the key reason was a socially acceptable fear. We fear, so we give money, protection, shelter. The unintended consequence is a generation that "has a failure to launch." Another unintended consequence is that we have given Satan ground into our families by walking in fear. We have not been sober minded and aware of Satan's schemes. We have fed fear, and without repentance we will reap the consequences.
A final example is ministry. How many of us have not spoken to a neighbor about the Lord because of fear? What if they reject me? What will they think? The real question should be, are they in bondage and do they need the gospel? If so, then out of love for them and in response to walking in the power of the Spirit, we need to share the gospel with them. We need to pray that the Lord will open the door so it just flows naturally. Most importantly, we need to say something!
Why do we not do this? Fear. Plain and simple, it is fear. What about a ministry that you would love to start or be part of, yet you do not do so for fear that it will not go well or that you will "not find the time." We so often put off to tomorrow what should be done today (to quote the great theologian Garth Brooks).
Again I say, fear is not from God. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18 Do we not believe that God can work it out to bring someone to faith without making us their enemy? Do we not believe that God can work through us, even with our frailties? Do we not believe that God loves our children, and that He will take care of them? Is everything really all about us?
I know what it is like to live in fear. I know how we can busy ourselves so we avoid walking in faith. I also can say clearly, walking in fear is not from God. Pray about this. Fear gives the devil a foothold in our lives, our families, our churches. It is the primary way that Satan works to hinder the work of God.
Pray through these passages I mentioned in this blog. If the Spirit gives you insight into areas where you are dominated by fear, I ask you, no beg you, to repent! Confess to God your sin and your need for His grace. Ask Him to work instead of you thinking it is all about you. Walk in faith. Claim the victory of Christ and the truth of the gospel as your own.
May your life be marked by grace, trust, rest, and God's power instead of fear. In so doing, you will defeat the schemes of the Evil one against you, your family, and your church.
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