Your so vain, you're probably thinking this post is about you...

and to complete the song, "and you might be right this time."

I was always told as a child, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."  This is hard advice to follow.  

This blog post is a turning point.  For the past year, I have shared with friends how much I would like to write a post modeled after that old song line, "Your so vain, you probably think this song is about you."  For two years, some people used this blog, my teaching and preaching, and anything else they found find or imagine to attack me.  They were convinced that I was singling them out.  The were "offended" because I was so "offensive."  They were convinced that this blog was somehow an attack on them.

News flash!  I probably wasn't even thinking about you when I wrote whatever post you decided to be offended by.  

Extra news flash!  Maybe you have confused being offended by being convicted.  Instead of attacking me behind my back, why not go to the Lord in prayer and see if you are really troubled because you should be troubled?  At the very least, comment or talk to me about it.  Don't assume the worst of me because your assumptions show the very worst about you.

Third news flash!  This post might truly be about you...

Today, I begin writing again.  Without getting into specifics, the past two years have been the most difficult of my life.  I have been maligned, falsely accused of a variety of stupid stuff, had all of my motives questioned, and been subject to controlling people and groups.  In addition, I have had my family attacked as somehow unworthy.  This is not a complete list, but it does scratch the surface of my life and ministry for the past almost two years.  

The best part, all of this has occurred at the hands of supposedly "christian" people.  "Christian" folks who remain unrepentant and instead use false humility to attack anyone they deem "prideful" enough to question their actions. 

The irony of it all.  These folks don't see that their pride is at the heart of their gossip, their judgment of others, and their self-righteous approval of themselves and their friends.

Honestly, I feel so sorry for these ignorant, prideful fools.  They profess to be wise, but they have denied the truth.  I so wish they would come to repentance because this condition is fatal.  They have immunized themselves against the gospel's call to true humility and repentance.  Instead, they have embraced the stage-four cancer of self-deception.

So today, I write as a free man.  For the first time in two years, I am free from their control.  Probably the most frustrating thing about all these attacks is that I could not respond directly to them.  It was neither professional nor prudent to do so while at my former employer, and my severance agreement kept me from doing so over the past eight months.  Well, the severance agreement is over as of June 30 and so is the gag order.  I am free to share my perspective (without betraying confidences) on why I left my former employer, and what I think about all of demonic attacks on my character, ministry, and family.

The only issue is that I don't want to.  I have no interest in speaking about specifics or somehow violating any "confidences."  I don't have much good to say about how this situation occurred and what certain individuals have done.  So, I won't say anything specific at all.  

Sometimes things don't go as you wish.  Some jobs are great while others are difficult and one is glad when they are over.  Today I write to say this portion of my life is now over and I am extremely glad.  It is now in my rearview mirror, and I don't want to turn around to even look at the ugly mess.

Professionally, personally, and as a family we are now in a better situation and a much better place.  To the small but determined group of "vain" people, I say, "Good luck."  If our paths cross again, be assured I don't hold a grudge, but I might be a bit gun-shy.  This is not an issue of my "unforgiving heart" but instead the reality of a changed relationship because of what I feel was your abusive and controlling behavior.  I praise God for freedom and release from this situation. 

I also acknowledge the many good folks I met in Seattle.  In the midst of the darkness, God used many of you to show me light and grace.  I thank you for being that light and grace.  Please be assured this post is not about you.

Now, onward.  "Higher up and further in" is the call.  May we all pursue it!