Why non-believers smell us out as hypocrites...

"Educators often refer to a concept called the hidden curriculum.  This concept suggests that in a classroom, there is a formal curriculum that includes things like math problems, writing assignments, or science experiments.  But there's also the hidden curriculum, which involves issues like who wants to sit next to whom, and who does the teacher look at, and who does the teacher tend to call on?

The hidden curriculum teaches students who matters and who does not,
who's bright and who's left out.

If there is an inconsistency between the hidden curriculum and the formal curriculum,
research shows that students always believe the hidden curriculum."

John Ortberg, "Speaking from my Holy of Holies," Leadership (Spring 2007), 40.

Education is not the only place that struggles with a hidden curriculum.  Though it was more than a decade ago, I remember clearly a horrifying example of hidden curriculum in the church.

I was to speak at the denominational meeting different from my own about our changing culture.  My task was to share how difficult it is to reach non-churched people with the gospel, but also to offer some ideas on how to bridge the gap.

I was sitting up front and as I was being introduced, the leader of meeting shared that they had invited some youth age members of their churches to join us to hear what I had to say.  These kids looked like kids everywhere: somewhat ragged, wearing shorts, tee shirts and one boy had on a hat.  They looked strangely out of place in a "grown up meeting."

Then, before I could even take the floor, a scowling older woman got up from the middle of the room.  She walked behind the kids with stiff, staccato steps.  Then she quite rudely, without a word, knocked the hat off that kid's head.

I remember being so taken aback, that I did not know what to say.  Was that hat really that important?  Should I say something?

As I write today, I wonder if that kid- now in his twenties- even graces the doorstep of any church.  I wonder if that day was a turning point where he decided that he would rather do anything else than be embarrassed by a so-called adult.

What is the application?  There are many.  What I would like to focus our thought upon is a simple statement.  

Much of what passes for "ministry" is marked by a hidden curriculum/agenda.

We might say we want to reach out to new people, but our hidden curriculum says we are a closed system that really does not want new people or ideas.  We might say we love families, but our hidden agenda says that we really love a certain type of family (intact, white, smart, having it all together, who knows what else?).  We might claim we wish our church or ministry to grow, but our hidden curriculum screams, "We only want you if you agree with us!"

New people who come into our ministry will pick up upon and believe the hidden curriculum more than the "official" statement of belief and intent.

What is the hidden curriculum/thought that dominates your life?  Your ministry?  Your church?  As I stated, we often cannot see it.  How can we discover what is hidden?

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you have eyes to see.  Humbly confess that you have blind spots that you need the Spirit to reveal.  Then ask for outside eyes to see what is really happening.  Pray.  Trust what the Spirit reveals.  Repent.  Ask for grace to change the hidden curriculum.  

Psalm 139: 23-24 is a great place to start the journey of identifying our hidden curriculum.  Why not join me in praying,

Search me, of God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

See if here be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

The following is your mission, if you choose to accept it...

"Can you even imagine a quarterback fumbling and a lineman not jumping on the ball and instead saying something stupid like, "That isn't my job"?  Companies all over America are failing because they have allowed a culture of leaders and teams who don't care about the goal, but just about themselves.  When the team care only about themselves, they are by definition no longer a team, they are just employees.  As soon as that happens, the germ of failure has entered the organization.  When failure occurs like that it is leadership and the team's fault.  There was no clearly communicated shared goal that created buy-in from all parties."

Dave Ramsey, EntreLeadership, 41.

I now ask you to re-read the above quote and put the word church in the place of businesses.  In fact, I will do it for you.

"Can you even imagine a quarterback fumbling and a lineman not jumping on the ball and instead saying something stupid like, "That isn't my job"?  Churches all over America are failing because they have allowed a culture of leaders and teams who don't care about the goal, but just about themselves."

Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership is in my top five of leadership books.  I would heartily recommend it for anyone who is looking for the foundations and vision for a successful business.  It is also full of many solid tips for becoming a better leader.

I know many who do not think that business books or business models are valid for the church.  They argue that the church is a spiritual organization and all that we need is the bible.

While I completely affirm that the bible is all infallible guide for life and practice, I believe such thinking forgets one key biblical principle: we live in a fallen world.  This means that while the Church is the bride of Christ and She is beautiful in spiritual power, the local church and denominations are systems functioning in a fallen world.

That leaves us with the number one problem of churches and denominations.  What happens when the members of a church or the members of a denomination change the focus to caring only/primarily about themselves?  What happens when these folks, perhaps even out of good intentions, focus on maintaining the institution or the past more than loving and caring for others?

At that time, as Dave says, "The germ of failure has entered the organization."

In other words, just like a business, a church has to be constantly reminded and realigned according to its mission.

What is the mission of the church?

Thankfully, Jesus was fairly clear about our mission.  His last words on earth were to give us the Great Commission.  "Go and make disciples..." (Matt. 28: 18-20) and "You shall be my witnesses..." (Acts 1: 7)  He taught consistently that trusting faith in Him is the key to fulfilling all the commandments of God.

God's mission is to live for the benefit of blessing others.  His Church exists not for self-fulfillment, but as an outpost for the blessing of those outside the church building.

Yet, often we fall into the same traps that every business struggles against.  How do we play like a team?  How do we get volunteers to buy into the team concept?  What happens to those who choose not to play on the team, but instead follow their own rules and play their own game?

These questions are the joy of leadership.  Answering them biblically and decisively are the essence of what it means to be leader in the Church.  May the Lord raise up more leaders who are willing to accept this difficult but rewarding task.

How to Bless Others...

Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me.

The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward,

and the one who receives a righteous person because he is a righteous person 

will receive a righteous person's reward.

And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of water because he is a disciple, 

truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.

Matt. 10: 40-42

This passage has puzzled me for years.  What does it mean?

As always, the key to understanding a passage of scripture is to understand the context in which it is written.

This passage is tucked into a chapter of Matthew where Jesus sends out his Apostles to learn ministry.  In chapter 10, Jesus gives his disciples a mission with instructions (vss. 5-15), He then tells them they will face persecution (vss. 16-25), but they should not worry because whoever acknowledges him before men He will acknowledge before the Father (vss. 26-33).  Then He concludes with the promise that He came to bring not peace, but a sword (vss. 34-39).  (This is another tough passage.)  His final instructions are included in our passage above.  They are a promise that whoever does receive the disciples will get a reward.

This is one tough passage.  How do we interpret and understand it?

In this passage, the controlling verse is 10:40 "Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me."  After affirming that His person and message would cause divisions even within families, Jesus promises that those to receive the truth of His person and message will share in the blessings of God.  In other words, receiving the disciples illustrates folks received their message.

Here is where I find the passage extremely interesting.  Why would Jesus say such a thing?

The obvious answer is that His disciples will be telling about and performing miracles to prove the Kingdom of God is here in the person and message of Jesus.  Thus, to receive them means to believe them.  At the very least it means to affirm an openness to listen.  To such openness, Jesus promises blessing and reward.

We are a blessing in society when we live and declare the reality of the Kingdom as we found it in Christ.  Some will be shocked and dismayed by this testimony.  In fact, in some areas of the country, nothing will make you more unpopular and an outcast than declaring that you believe in Jesus.

To this rejection, Jesus says fear not for I am with you.  Our testimony of faith might cause division.  Jesus tells us that such division is part of the game if you wish to be part of the growth of the Kingdom.  He tells us,

"And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." 

Matt. 10:38-39.

In other words, why are we protecting our reputation with others and not concerned with our faithfulness to Jesus?  He is worth some division and persecution.  In fact, as we testify to the reality of His Kingdom, we will find true life as we take our reputation from His love for us.

In my experience, when we declare who Jesus is with love and integrity, most people respond favorably.  Some do not, but most will listen.  Particularly those who know you.  As they listen with openness, God will call some to faith.  I have found this to be true even as I have lived in some of the most secular areas of the United States.

The beautiful promise of this passage is that we will be a blessing.  We will be salt and light.  All that is needed is for us to be willing to open our mouth and declare what God has done for us in Christ.

Remix: Dry Spirituality, Illness, Depression, and Hope

Another week is about to begin.  I praise God for His faithfulness even in the midst of struggle.  He is truly the Rock, the Fortress, and the Protector.  May He be forever praised.

Today, I finish my 2014 wrap up with my most popular post from last year.  It is from last February.  Its message is very fitting.  I love it when I am challenged or encouraged by my own writing.  May the Lord bless it.

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God."

Ps. 42: 5

Psalm 42 begins with the affirmation and cry, "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When shall I come and appear before God?"

Today this Psalm brings to mind some other questions.  If I belong to Jesus, the true King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who reigns forevermore at the right hand of the Father, why don't I always feel like it?  Why are some days and even seasons of life so spiritually dry?

In other words, I sometimes find that reading Ps 42 and others like it makes me feel like God and the scriptures are mocking me.  Why?  My heart does not thirst for the living God!  My soul is downcast, and I don't want to praise Him.

What am I to do?  What are you to do if you find yourself in the same place?

I firmly believe that all of us end up in this place.  If our vision of spirituality does not have a place for these feelings, we won't know how to process where we are and why we find ourselves so down.  As a pastor, this place is where I find many honest, sincere, and scared believers.

There is hope.  Jesus does reign and He is Lord.  He loves you.  We must hold to these truths even if we don't feel like it.

The problem is that we live in a fallen world where is victory is already here, but not yet complete.  Have no fear.  In fact, have faith and claim the reality that God is working through it all.  Our struggles, fears, and doubts can purify and perfect our very imperfect faith.

So why do we feel this way?  There are many reasons.  Let me give one.

As I wrote in my journal many moons ago, "It is amazing the tie between our spirituality and our health.  I feel this is so often forgotten or ignored.  When I do not feel well, it is hard to feel Your presence and love.  You might be carrying me (think of the poem Footprints in the Sand), but I do not feel the embrace."

Every week I have the privilege and calling to deal with folks who struggle with depression and anxiety.  I find these folks feel the same way I do when I am sick!  Their physical issues cause a spirit of dryness.

In Psalm 42, the Psalmist confesses that he has been crying and he feels taunted by those who ask, "Where is your God?"  I do not think these folks are mocking him, but saying, "Where is your faith?  Don't you know that God is faithful?"  How often as believers do we do the same to those who are struggling!  How often do we as believers beat ourselves up when we are struggling!

The Psalmist answers his doubts and struggles with an affirmation of the gospel.  He confesses where he is: struggling for his very life and faith!  He then reminds himself over and over again of God's faithfulness in the past.  He also affirms that this present reality of struggle will not last forever.  In fact, he affirms God's faithfulness by repeating the same verse twice in this Psalm.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God.

Ps 42: 5 and 11

Please remember there is a direct tie between our health (physical and mental) and our spirituality.  Such a tie is a result of being embodied spiritual beings.  Jesus understands as he also was at times tired, emotionally drained, hungry, and deeply saddened.  Illness is not weakness.  It is a result of the Fall, but it is common to us all.

When struggling confess you are struggling and look to the gospel.  Remind yourself of God's past work and His promise of a good future.  I encourage you to use Psalm 42 as a guide.

Farewell my friend, Matt Yukon

Yesterday, I got the call I was dreading for the past couple of months.  My good friend Matt Yukon died from cancer.  He was 45 years old.  

Words can not do justice to the pain of such a loss.  My heart goes out to his wife Dee and his two young children, Angelina and Lincoln.  He was a great pastor and lover of people.  I know I am not the only one feeling like the world is a bit less bright today.

Matt and I met in the old gym at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.  We quickly struck up a friendship based upon a love for Jesus, a desire to get to know Him more, and an obsession with helping others know God's grace.  For three years, we met together weekly, engaged in numerous adventures, and razed each other about our sports teams (and everything else).  When we graduated, we kept in touch, did ministry together, listened to each other's sermons, and encouraged each other in life and ministry.  He was such a good friend, he even helped me move twice.

I am really going to miss him.  True friends are so hard to find.  As he affirmed in our last phone call, he knew I would be there for him no matter what, and I know he felt the same way.  Even this fall, as he struggled with his cancer and knew this end was a strong possibility, he promised and I am sure fulfilled his promise to pray daily for my life and changing ministry situation.

Please join me in praying for his wife Dee, who continues to fight against stage four breast cancer that developed four years ago while she was pregnant with Lincoln.  Pray for God's grace and provision.  Pray for her healing and for a great response to the continuing chemo and treatments.  Pray for the many who will grieve the death of a good man who died way too soon.

Farewell my friend.  I am glad the pain and struggle is done.  I look forward to meeting again.  Save a spot for me on your basketball team.

I know he was from New York, but the Yankees?  Please.  (He also loved the Cowboys)

A New Year's Toast

"If you are going through hell, keep on going before the devil even knows you are there."

Written by Dave Berg, Sam Tate and Anne Tate.  Performed by Rodney Atkins

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

Winston Churchill

"May you be in heaven five minutes before the devil knows you are dead."

Irish Proverb

(The first quote is from the most popular country song of 2006 by Rodney Atkins  It was composed by combining the other two quotes or sayings and making them into a great song.)

2014 was not a good year for the Selmon family.  Since we got married twenty-two years ago, we have only had two years where we stayed up to mid-night on December 31 to wave good-bye to a past year with such gusto.  Those years were 2014 and 2000, which was marked by both a huge apartment fire and the sudden death of my father.

Sometimes, when you are going through hell, all you can do is keep on going.  I know this much for sure, 2014 is gone, and we are glad!  We have survived by continuing to walk forward.  I praise God for His faithfulness through the midst of a year from hell.

In the end of December, my wife recommended I write a farewell to 2014 and a welcome to 2015 post with this theme.  I was in a place of writer's block, so it is coming to you a couple of weeks late.  Still, the feeling is there.

 Good-bye yucky year.  Good-bye a year wandering through hell itself.  Hello a New Year filled with promise and hope.

May the Lord bless 2015.  May His presence, guidance, and grace lead us onward.  

PS.  This is also my 600 post.  Amazing amount of postings.  I began the blog to force myself to write.  Now, I find myself writing other projects.  May 2015 be the year these projects come to life by working to completion.

Remix: Stress, Friendship, and the Gospel

As I graduated from high school, one of my friends was asked the meaning of life.  His response, "To find out who and what are true friends."

This is a great observation.  We are made for companionship.  We are made to love and to be loved.  Yet, we live such lives of quiet isolation.

My guess is the C.S. Lewis was correct in his observation that hell will be marked by isolation and complete self-regard.

Today, I repost (with corrections) my second most popular post from 2014.  May the Lord use it in your life.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

for the Lord has been good to you. 

Ps. 116: 7

I have been reading an interesting book on the consequences of stress on the human body.  In particular, the author was commenting on the relationship between bad stress, which raised various "flight or fight" hormones in the body, and heart disease.  He argued that feeling trapped in a job or a situation where you feel powerless leads to increased stress chemicals in the body, which eventually lead to heart disease, strokes, and other major problems (such as death).  

To me, all of this makes sense.  The question is how do we avoid such stress?

To begin, we should make some obvious life-style changes.  If you are in a job that makes you feel trapped and not respected, change.  Also, increase your exercise levels as this makes a major positive change in the body's response to stress.  He also recommended the drinking of wine with dinner, as moderate alcohol consumption has been shown to lower the stress chemicals in the body.  If you have listened to the news, all of these positive factors have been mentioned for quite some time even in popular media.  These are changes that we can and should make.

What I found interesting was his emphasis on developing good social networks and friends.  He observed several groups of people with what we would call horrible eating habits who have very low levels of heart disease.  He argued that these people have one thing in common: they are well integrated into a community where they have love, support, and fun.  

In the past thirty years, studies have shown that Americans increasingly are not integrated into authentic communities.  We isolate ourselves from others while retreating into time with only our families.  I believe we do so to our own harm.  The problem is that friendship and community take time to develop and nurture.  With all the kid's activities, work responsibilities, and general busyness of life, how do we find the time to develop and nurture friendships?

First, we have to admit and confess that we need real friends and community.  We need to ask God to help us find real friends and true community.  Most of us do everything we can to live in denial of our need for others.  We remain so busy, and we allow our children to be part of every activity under the sun so they are not deprived.  Even at church, we go and leave without really engaging people.  This is one great draw of the large church in that it facilitates the "feelings" of having many friends and fellow travelers without causing real engagement with others.  I believe it is also the draw of Facebook and other social networks that promote "connectedness" without really helping us connect.
We need real friends.

Second, we have to be intentional in searching for friendships and community.  We have to find people that we can "be ourselves" around.  Wow is this hard.  Where would we find such people?  How about in our church communities?

This presupposes that we will develop church communities that are not fake or shallow.  Places where it is O.K. to be known with all of our issues, needs, and strengths.  We will find people in these churches that we do not "click with," but we should continue to search until we find folks who will love us and relate to us where we are.  Again, ask God for wisdom in finding friends and companionship.

Third, we have to continue to develop and nurture friendships and community.  This takes commitment on our part and on our friends part.  Get together and laugh.  Enjoy time together not necessarily "doing stuff" but being.  I think this is becoming a lost art.  True friendship and community is found in spending time.  In today's age, time is our most precious commodity.  We horde it to our own detriment.

Spend time with friends and lower your chances of heart disease.  It lowers your chances of sudden death.  It also increases joy, freedom, and creativity.  

With that in mind, what can you do this week to nurture true friendships?

Remix: The Deadly Sin of Envy

It has been too long since I last wrote.  I apologize for this.  It has been an wonderful/mundane, happy/sad, strange couple of weeks.  I just stopped being able to write or even think about writing.  I had it lined up to complete my most hit posts from last year, before the end of the year, but I missed my chance.  

Well, no use crying over spilled milk, so I will pick up where I left off.  Today, I will repost an important lesson from April, which was my number three most viewed post from 2014.

I don't know about you, but I need to hear it.  Envy is a killer, whether you are the one envying or the one being envied.  

"It has been said that Envy is the one deadly sin to which no one readily confesses.  It seems to be the nastiest, the most grim, the meanest.  Sneering, sly, vicious.  The face of Envy is never lovely.  It is never even faintly pleasant.  Its expression crosses our faces in a split second.  'Few are able to suppress in themselves a secret satisfaction at the misfortune of their friends,' said La Rochefoucauld, and few of us are able to suppress a secret envy at someone else's good fortune, or even at someone else's good joke.  If we confessed each day how often we had been envious during it, we would be on our knees longer than for any other sin.

Although all the deadly sins are morbid and self-destroying, Angus Wilson has said, most of the others provide at least some gratification in their early stages.  But there in no gratification for Envy, nothing it can ever enjoy.  Its appetite never ceases, yet its only satisfaction is endless self-torment.  'It has the ugliness of a trapped rat that has gnawed its own feet in its efforts to escape.'"

Henry Fairlie, The Seven Deadly Sins for Today, 61.

What is envy?  I don't think we can recognize envy like past generations and other cultures.  Why?  Envy is so ingrained in our culture that it is like the air we breathe.  It is the way we do business.  It is often the foundation of our thoughts and lives.  

So what does envy look like today?

In our culture it takes the form of rampant consumerism.  We are so marketed to that we do not know anything different.  While this marketing promotes other deadly sins such as gluttony and lust, it appeals to our base nature desire more.  Remember these slogans:

"You deserve a break today."  "Be all you can be."  "Because you are worth it."  "When you only deserve the best."

These just come off the top of my head.  How many more are out there?  At its heart, each slogan appeals to our most base nature.  We do deserve better.  It is particularly clear we deserve better when we see others enjoying, flaunting, having that which we want.  Not so secretly, the thought crosses our minds that those who have what we want, do not deserve it.

Envy now rules.

Has not our entire political discussion engaged and promoted envy?  President Obama won reelection in large part by pounding this theme.  The rich do not deserve what they have.  They only got what they have by taking it from the poor.  The subtle and unstated claim here is that they should be punished and you should be rewarded because you deserve more.  Is this not how to make a strong middle class?

Envy is our cultural marker.

Why can we not be happy with someone else's success?  Is it not possible for everyone to succeed, even though some do so to greater measure than others?  Do not those who succeed in greater measure employ those of us who need jobs?

When envy rules, these questions do not matter.  All that matters is a growing dislike of those with what we want and "deserve" and a gnawing desire for something that will satisfy our soul.  This path will not breed a happy and strong lower class, middle class, or upper class.  It breeds anger, resentment, and ever deepening sin.

These observations have obvious implications for the Christian life.  We must recognize our envy so we can repent and find our rest in relationship with God.  Yet, the fingers of sin go deeper than mere individual sin.

Our churches are often marked by an incredible spirit of envy.  We want the gifts and talents of others.  We want to be recognized like they are.  We are just as smart, just as spiritual, just as talented as others. Why do people not recognize us?

How do we deal with this?  It depends if we are an aggressive person or a passive person.

If we are aggressive, we try to move and manipulate within the church so people recognize us.  We tear down those we envy.  It might not be a direct attack, but we withhold encouragement and affirmation.  We master being a fault-finder instead of being an encourager.

If we are passive, we give up trying.  We know we do not have the talent of others, though we wish we did, so we refuse to use the gifts we do have to the full measure possible.  As a result, we do not grow.  Like a stunted plant, we lack health and vitality because the Spirit does not flow through the gifts we do have and we should use to benefit others.  (See the passage in 1 Corinthians 12 for how Paul describes this condition)

Just like our culture at large, envy rules.  "Its appetite never ceases, yet its only satisfaction is endless self-torment."

The only way off this carousel of sin is repentance and faith.  We were created to have our satisfaction and joy from our relationship with Jesus.  Ask the Spirit to point out where envy rules in your life and in the church.  Ask for grace to repent and find satisfaction in Jesus' love for you.  Meet with other gospel-centered believers for encouragement as you seek to lessen the rule of envy in your life.  Most importantly, when the Spirit points out your envy for things, power, or gifts, repent and believe the gospel.