Replay: Is it time to leave your church?

Today I wish to repost from last September 17.  This was my most read post from last year.  It also got me in hot water with folks at my current church who thought I was trying to tell them to leave.  To the life of me, I can't understand how you can get that from this post.  It was truly never my intention.  I was writing about a common occurrence in the fall of each year- people change places of worship.

Here is the backdrop of the story.  Everyone who asked about my motivation for writing heard this.  Most did not ask.

I wrote this post in response to a man who had read this blog, listened to my sermons, and then approached me to talk.  He attended a church not far from here.  He was wondering if it was time to leave the church.  He was frustrated with the direction of the church.  He felt like he was stagnating in his growth.  He felt helpless to help.

I encouraged him to talk with the leadership.  I encouraged him to share with leadership what he saw, what he could do to help, and see their response.  We worked out a strategy and he followed through in talking with the leadership and offering to help.

In the end, he stayed at his church.  He affirmed that the following criteria were not met so he had no basis to leave.  Ironic.

A true church is the "congregation of saints in which the
gospel is rightly taught and the Sacraments are rightly administered."

Augsburg Confession, Article 7.

A change in seasons always brings many transitions.  As a family, we have changed out our summer wardrobe for more hearty fall clothing.  The kids are getting back into their school routine.  We are getting our home and our cars ready for the long winter.  In fact, for some strange reason, I am beginning to crave soup and stew (I know that is weird).  Times are changing.

What does all this mean?  For many, this is also church changing season!

In my experience, the late summer and early fall are the most likely time for people to look for and find a new church.  Why?  I think there are many reasons.  I offer two that come up often.

First, fall comes right after summer.  Many people have missed at least several weeks of church.  Others have missed several months!  With this lack of relationship comes a perfect time to "try something new."

Second, in many churches, the beginning of the school year begins a new ministry year.  Perhaps a family attended some summer ministries like VBS or other outreach activities.  They were invited by folks they knew or they met some new friends at these events.  As they attended, it just felt like home.  They liked what they experienced, and they want more of it.

I know there are always folks who think that duty and commitment to a church outweigh any other considerations.  Each of the above reasons sound like nothing more than consumerism applied to a church community.  In some ways I agree.

Yet, just as Pastors can be led to change churches to go to another ministry, so I believe God can people in the pews to make a change.  In fact, changing places of ministry can invigorate and encourage incredible growth and transformation.  It can result in a great increase in fruitfulness.

So, how can one tell if it is time to go someplace new?

This is a very good question.  I cannot offer a definitive answer to it.  Yet, I think there are several guidelines to encourage a proper change.

First, why do you wish to change?  Is it merely to have your needs met?  Is this change all about you?  Is your lack and desire because you want "the gospel rightly taught and the sacraments rightly administered" or because you want more lively worship, a better children's program, or some other cosmetic reason?

I grew up in a mainline denomination where the gospel was not clearly taught or believed.  I think they did OK with the sacraments because they had a form to follow, but the gospel was missing.

If I wanted to grow deeper in the truth of scripture, I needed to leave this place to find mature believers who could instruct and disciple me in the faith.  Thankfully, I found such people!  Unfortunately, it meant changing churches.

How about you?  Do you need to move somewhere so that you can hear and grow in the truth?  I hate to say it, but many large "bible-believing" churches don't do so well on helping people grow deeper in the gospel.  Can you find a place and a means to grow where you are, or do you need to move so you can be confronted and encouraged by the truth?

I believe changing churches for the gospel rightly taught and the sacraments rightly administered is exceedingly valid.

My second point is like the first, but a bit different.  Are you wanting to use your gifts in ministry, but the doors are closed to you where you are?  Have you tried to get the leadership's blessing and support to do ministry, but it is lacking?  Do you have a strong compulsion (some would say leading by the Spirit) to do something but your current church environment will not allow you to do it?

Notice how I asked each question.  Each question assumes that you have talked to people at your current church who are in leadership and they have not really been onboard with your ministry leading. I think many people change church to do ministry without asking such questions.  This is harmful in many ways!

Yet, if you and a church are moving in different directions, it is important for the peace and purity of the church for there to be a blessed parting.  Seek out the advice and guidance of wise folks to make sure such a parting is really necessary.

Why?

Leaving a church community always impacts our relationship to folks within that community.  Relationship matter.  People matter.  Leaving for the right reasons and in the right way are important for maintaining relationship and being a blessing to people.

In my next several posts I will outline some positive steps for how to leave a church.