Discipleship, Counseling, and the Pastoral Calling

In our hyper therapeutic milieu, people want professionals to do something to them to make them feel better.  Living through life, meeting the demands of following Jesus, living under the lordship of of holy God doesn't appeal to the general public these days.  The majority of Americans will tell any pollster that they believe in the Ten Commandments.  But only a small percentage of those people could even recite the Ten Commandments, and even a smaller percentage have any genuine interest in following them.

For me, trying to be a counselor is a shortcut.  It is pandering to my people's desires to have me do something to them rather than admonish them to live through the thick forest of their lives by following Christ in discipleship.

Since I do discipleship instead of counseling, I find I have a fair amount of free time on my hands, time I can spend praying.

David Hansen, The Art of Pastoring: Ministry without all the Answers, 72.

As a Christian leader, I am called to come alongside people to help them grow back toward an intimate and perfect relationship with God.  The closer I can get them to this place, the better a job I have done.  Of course, I cannot do any of it without the grace and mercy of the Lord!  Yet, I am called to be a herald that points people to a life of repentance and faith in Jesus.

That being said, I agree with Hansen that when I engage in "counseling" I am selling my life, calling, and job short.

Why?

I think it has to do with more with false expectations than there being something wrong with professional counseling.  My purpose is not to put down professional counseling.  I know and believe that professional counseling has an important place in the Kingdom.  Professional counselors help folks identify and break the stranglehold of the past.

The human mind and heart is like a finely tuned instrument.  At times and in certain people, the tuning has been damaged by others or by something dramatic in the past.  This damage works out in ungodly thoughts, actions, habits, and personalities.  It can also cause very real physical damage to the pathways of the brain.  Thus, there are valid counseling techniques and procedures that can help identity and sometimes fix the mistuned instrument.  I am thankful for folks trained in these specialties.

Yet, I must admit that I am not a professional counselor.   I am not called nor qualified to engage in such a ministry.  As a pastor, when I sense someone needs professional help beyond may calling in the gospel, I refer them immediately.

So, why do I think counseling is deadly to the pastoral office and calling?  I believe much of the problem is cultural.  In the West, we want to be fixed.  Some folks are too cheap to go to a professional counselor, so they figure they will hit up the pastor because pastors are free.

For many pastors, being needed in this way makes them feel important.  It becomes their identity.  It is the stamp of approval for ministry.  I believe such thinking is wrongheaded.

Please understand it is not because our message lacks power!  The great irony is that pastors have much to offer folks.  We have the truth found in the gospel, and we have the Holy Spirit who can transform hearts and minds.  Yet, when folks come to be fixed by pastoral counseling, they often want a tip, technique, or advice instead of the repentance and faith found in the gospel.  

In other words, Hansen is completely right that in our hyper therapeutic setting, most people want to feel better, and they want me/pastors to do it to them (perhaps magically?), instead of wanting intimacy with God that comes from honest repentance and faith.

What is my task?

I am called to remind folks that they are not God.  There is only one God in the universe and He should receive the glory in our lives, in the Church, and in the world.

What does this mean?

God's purpose is not our direct and immediate happiness.  God's purpose is that we might come to know Him and enjoy Him forever.  Much of the time, particularly in immature believers, a person's direct happiness and the will of God are not the same.  Our greatest need runs so contrary to what we think will bring happiness.  It feels like death when we confess and declare our need to repent of telling God, "My will be done."  While true life is found in the pathway of discipleship that declares to self and God "Thy will be done," it is often not something that brings an immature believer immediate "happiness."

The great irony is that the path of true discipleship does bring deep-seated joy and  transformation.  It is the key to authentic living!  Yet, few really want to hear it.  Why?  True discipleship also confesses there will be- no there must be- pain and difficulty in our life in this fallen world.  Honestly, who wants to hear such talk?

As a pastor or ministry leader, when I become more concerned with making someone happy than in encouraging them to grow in repentance and faith, I am selling out my calling.  Much of what passes for pastoral counseling fails because the expectation of the relationship is one of "fixing" and "bring happiness" in the midst of distress.

I think most in the churches I have served know this about me.  Thus, those who want to walk with God are attracted while those who wish "happiness" leave me alone.  Unfortunately (or fortunately?), like Hansen states, this leaves me with much time to pray!