Repenting while doing the work of the Church

"Who can discern his errors?

Declare me innocent from hidden faults.

Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins;

let them not have dominion over me!

Then I shall be blameless,

and innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in your sight,

O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."

Ps. 19: 12-14

"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;

when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."

Proverbs 17: 28

Yesterday I had the privilege of enjoying an all day denominational meeting.  It was held here in Seattle, but on the other side of town.  Thus, we left at 7:30, took over an hour to travel 10 miles, and then sat in meetings until 5:30.  I particularly enjoyed my time at lunch and in breaks where I got to talk to people.  There are so many new people to meet!

One problem is that a regional denominational meeting is not the best place to meet new folks.  Why?  We only meet twice a year and when we meet, at least within our tradition, we are a "court" of the church.  It is not a fellowship group, but a place where decisions have to be made.  We are to do it in Christian love, but when there are disagreements a decision still has to be made.

Can you see the problem?  Unless there is complete agreement in all things, which will not happen until paradise because of our sin nature, disagreements, struggle, and verbal conflict will ensue.  The more weighty the issue, the more entrenched the opinions, the deeper the conflict.

Unfortunately for me, we had two such issues brought by our congregation to the meeting.  Unfortunate because I am a tenacious and effective debater, particularly when I know I am right and it is important.  In fact, I do not believe I can remember losing a debate in my life.  While I have ceded the field on occasion and as I have aged I have avoid debate as much as possible, when I engage I carry it through.

So where does that leave me?

The day after I come to the Psalms and repent!  Even as we met, I repented!  Why?  Even when I am in the right, I am often so wrong.  My attitude, tone, style, and even content can be so offensive.  Lord forgive me, and I do pray that any I offended are also willing to forgive.

The problem with a Classis meeting (the name of our denominational meeting) with 44 churches represented, how do you communicate this?  Such a place, without outside relationship that adds context to what is done in the meeting, is basically geared to offend.  At the least, it is perfect for us lawyer types while very, very bad for those who have a tender heart.

Even as I have spent hours thinking and praying about the meeting, I cannot figure out anyway to change it- at least as this Classis is formatted.  Coming together merely as a "court" of the church leads to conflict.  Without continuing relationship, there will be mistrust, conflict, and struggle between people who merely come together twice a year.  How can we even understand each other without building and promoting these relationship?

I do wish I had the wisdom to remain silent!  Alas, I do not and often I am compelled to not be silent.  Thus, I repent.  Lord have mercy and build Your church even as You have to work through such frail vessels as myself!