What is real Manhood?

"Brace yourself up like a man and I will question you,

and you will make it known to me."

The Lord speaking to Job

Job 40: 7

I believe in today's Western culture, particularly for those under age 40, there is no more confusing passage in all of scripture than this one! "Brace yourself up like a man?"  What in the world does this mean?

I believe there has been a concentrated and pernicious attack on men and young boys for the past forty years.  With the rise of the Feminist movement, came a prolonged attack on boys and men.  I could go into the many, many statistics to back this up, but defending this claim is not the aim of this post.  All I will say is that much like our modern political debate, instead of positively stating why women are different, special, and so needed in every realm of life, we were told why men were enslavers, manipulative, and content to keep women down.

The result?  We have leveled all of society as best as we can so as to diminish differences between men and women.  Want strange proof?  Just this week I was reading that our new aircraft carriers will no longer have urinals in the men's bathrooms.  This follows a worldwide trend.  I know several years ago a Scandinavian country tried to outlaw men urinating while standing since it was a means of showing dominance over women! 

What has been our message?  Boys and men, stop acting so "manly"!  Be calm, civilized, stop fidgeting, and stop acting like there is a difference between men and women.  We have disparaged being "macho" to the point where we have huge confusion over how a man should act, think, and be in society.

I believe we have done so to a great peril to individual men and women, the Church, and our society as a whole.  I know I have spent way too much time working with young men (and some not so young) encouraging them to act like a man.  I have found so much confusion among young men as to who they should be, how they should act, and what they should do.  For the past twenty years at least: 

Thoughtful men do not wish to be a "chauvinist pig" so they become passive around women;

Many young men struggle with their "failure to launch" so they retreat to video games, extreme sports, and they settle for part-time jobs to pay for their pleasures while they depend upon others to provide for their daily needs;

We have so emphasized our need for egalitarian relationships that men get married, but do not know how to lead a family, a Church, or a business.  Instead, they differ leadership decisions to "consensus" decisions.  Such a lack of leadership often leads to resentment, anger and broken relationships with spouses, significant others, and in all of life;

Finally, there appears to be a true lack of understanding that delayed gratification is necessary for maturity and true manhood.  If our reward is not immediate, it is not coming.  Thus our relationships, business and career decisions, life decisions, and all choices are based on our need for immediate reward.  We seem to have lost the will to live in light of next year, let alone eternity!

So what does it mean to be a man?  Our culture is so confused!  So are many in the Church.  What does the Bible have to say about it?  What does it mean to "brace yourself up like a man"?

I just read a great article in the summer 2002 Leadership magazine that I think gives some insight.  I like this following quote from Robert Lewis because it states positively what it means to be a man.  How I want my boys to hear this message!

What is your definition of manhood?

We compared the first Adam with the last Adam, Christ, and we found four differences.  They are our four foundations stones for authentic manhood.

A real man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward, God's reward.

What do you think of this definition?  Is it helpful?  How do we incorporate this understanding into our lives?  Into the life of our family?

The first place to start is always in repentance and faith.  If this makes you angry since I must be a "chauvinist pig" for saying it, repent and believe!  I am an imperfect person and often shallow thinker, what do you have that is better?  Share it with us!  

If you find that you have not lived as a man, repent and believe.  Confess to God, to others, and to yourself that you fall short.  Ask Jesus to help you live an authentic life.  Also, share this idea with others.  Perhaps others share your frustrations!  Let us press on to know Jesus and what He has for us.