Last night, I had the privilege of playing some basketball with a group of mostly older fellows. Actually, I played so poorly that I was merely running and passing since I just could not shoot well! As if often the case, I want my New Year to be marked by improved health brought about by eating better and getting solid exercise. This is my resolution. Thus, even though I was coming off an extremely emotionally draining day, I went to the gym for exercise!
As a pastor and professor, I have met many highly successful and motivated people. These folks are jewels, and I get so energized being around them! They prompt me to be better organized, more focused, and often more balanced in my life. It is ironic that those who are successful often live very balanced lives that keep the spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental worlds in proper perspective. I believe that one reason they are so successful is there ability to maintain this balance.
As a pastor and professor, I have also met many folks who want to succeed, but they are "self-saboteurs" who keep themselves from being successful. Often these folks are bright. Often they are winsome and easy to talk to. Yet, as individuals they lack the ability to follow through and complete tasks. I often find that their lives also are out of balance. I hear from them that they "do not have time" to maintain proper balance in their life. I believe this is a huge mistake!
In the month of January, I will be talking about finding and maintaining a proper balance in life. I will be using a very good book I have been reading by Richard Swenson called In Search of Balance: Keys to a Stable Life. You might want to pick it up and read along with me!
Today, I wish to begin our discussion with some thoughts on New Year's resolutions and how we can change our habits. I find this extremely important! Why? Because our habits become so ingrained that they become our character. Transformation takes a two-pronged attack. The first prong deals with the heart while the second deals with daily habits. For a New Year's resolution to take real root, it must work on both prongs to put to death our flesh so we can live by the Spirit!
As we begin, I challenge and encourage you to take a look at your character. For many of us today is a holiday, so take the time to start here! Many of us rush about in life, keeping ourselves busy, so we never have to look under the surface to see our basic character. I encourage you to pause today and to ask the Lord to give you a glimpse of your true self. One prayer I often use for this exercise is found in the end of Psalm 139.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
The Spirit of the Lord is a great flashlight to reveal those dark and hidden places that motivate our behavior. Let me give an example. A common New Year's resolution is to eat better, more nutritious food. Well, why do you eat wrong foods? Do you like food or do you hate your body?
A love for fattening foods can be cured with will-power, while a deep hatred of your body needs the gospel to deal with your heart. So many folks believe deep down that they deserve to be fat and unattractive. Such a belief is both untrue and destructive. In Christ, it needs to be identified, confessed, repented of, and the truth of the gospel needs to be applied. At this point, you may need help of a trusted friend or counselor to help apply the love of God to your heart.
Let me give another example, are you controlling in your relationships? Why? Ask for the Holy Spirit to be at work revealing the truth. Do you want others to serve you? Is it selfishness? Is it a desire to be right? Do you doubt that God could be at work apart from your desires for the other person? Repent of your actual heart sins. Ask for the Lord to heal those places deep within.
While you are working on this spiritual dimension of life, I also encourage you to change some of your destructive daily habits. This requires much less will-power than you might expect! Still, it does require us to come before the living God to ask for grace to have even a little will-power.
So, how do I change my daily habits? Here is our second prong of attack. In my experience, it takes three days to make most surface changes. To change my diet, three days of not going to the fridge when I am bored. To change exercise patterns, three days of getting up and doing something. Three days of will-power and you can change many patterns. The key is that you really have to want to change.
As I am changing my daily habits, I ask God constantly for the will-power to make it three days! I talk with Him constantly about my desire to give up the donut for better health. I ask Him to change my desires. In other words, I
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
So how does this work on transforming the character? At the end of three days, I make another three day commitment. I plan to not go to the fridge for three more days. Lord help me! I plan to exercise for three more days. Lord help! My muscles are sore and I need grace to do it!
Here's the good news. I have found that three weeks of pattern change often changes our character. In other words, keep changing your eating or exercise patterns for seven three day blocks, and you will find your desires for the old behavior are lessened!
In terms of New Year's resolutions, so many people give up if they fail. Remember that failure against our flesh is part of living in a fallen world! If you fall off the wagon, confess your sin and move on. Make another three day commitment and ask the Lord for mercy and help! Stop yourself from your destructive patterns for three days. On day four, it will be easier!
Also, ask the Lord for mercy and grace to see that your surface behaviors/sins are caused by a heart that needs grace. In my walk with God, I use the three day will-power trick to force myself to come before the Lord in repentance and then faith. By day four, it is much easier to come into His presence in repentance and faith. My guess is that such behavior also could help you! Remember, in three weeks you will find changes to your heart.
Remember growth is a process. Real heart change often takes time and there will be ups and downs. If you fall off the wagon, repent and begin again.
Every day is a new day of grace! May the Lord bless you with true heart change as you walk with Him in 2012!
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