Dry Spirituality, Illness, Depression and Hope

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God."

Ps. 42: 5

Psalm 42 begins with the affirmation and cry, "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When shall I come and appear before God?"

Today this Psalm brings to mind some other questions.  If I belong to Jesus, the true King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who reigns forevermore at the right hand of the Father, why don't I always feel like it?  Why are some days and even seasons of life so spiritually dry?

In other words, I sometimes find that reading Ps 42 and others like it makes me feel like God and the scriptures are mocking me.  Why?  My heart does not thirst for the living God!  My soul is downcast, and I don't want to praise Him.

What am I to do?  What are you to do if you find yourself in the same place?

I firmly believe that all of us end up in this place.  If our vision of spirituality does not have a place for these feelings, we won't know how to process where we are and why we find ourselves so down.  As a pastor, this place is where I find many honest, sincere, and scared believers.

There is hope!  Jesus does reign and He is Lord.  He loves you.  We must hold to these truths even if we don't feel like it.

The problem is that we live in a fallen world where is victory is already here, but not yet complete.  Have no fear.  In fact, have faith and claim the reality that God is working through it all.  Our struggles, fears, and doubts can purify and perfect our very imperfect faith.

So why do we feel this way?  There are many reasons.  Let me give one.

As I wrote in my journal many moons ago, "It is amazing the tie between our spirituality and our health.  I feel this is so often forgotten or ignored.  When I do not feel well, it is hard to feel Your presence and love.  You might be carrying me (think of the poem Footprints in the Sand), but I do not feel the embrace."

Every week I have the privilege and calling to deal with folks who struggle with depression and anxiety.  I find these folks feel the same way I do when I am sick!  Their physical issues cause a spirit of dryness.

In Psalm 42, the Psalmist confesses that he has been crying and he feels taunted by those who ask, "Where is your God?"  I do not think these folks are mocking him, but saying, "Where is your faith?  Don't you know that God is faithful?"  How often as believers do we do the same to those who are struggling!  How often do we as believers beat ourselves up when we are struggling!

The Psalmist answers his doubts and struggles with an affirmation of the gospel.  He confesses where he is: struggling for his very life and faith!  He then reminds himself over and over again of God's faithfulness in the past.  He also affirms that this present reality of struggle will not last forever.  In fact, he affirms God's faithfulness by repeating the same verse twice in this Psalm.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God.

Ps 42: 5 and 11

Please remember there is a direct tie between our health (physical and mental) and our spirituality.  Such a tie is a result of being embodied spiritual beings!  Jesus understands as he also was at times tired, emotionally drained, hungry, and deeply saddened.  Illness is not weakness.  It is a result of the Fall, but it is common to us all.

When struggling confess you are struggling and look to the gospel!  Remind yourself of God's past work and His promise of a good future.  I encourage you to use Psalm 42 as a guide.