Maybe I am back?!

Sometimes when God is doing something new, the best way to understand what He is doing is to stop and listen.  This has been my experience over the past couple of months.  I am not stressed.  In fact, I feel better than I have in years.  I am not in a spiritual funk.  Again, I feel as if I am in a better place than I have been in years.  I am merely waiting, listening, enjoying my Lord's presence, and living a very normal life.

All of this to say that the past two months have not been my best at blogging.  I have been thinking about many things, but my writing here has been sporadic.  Thankfully I have 400 past posts to draw from!

One of my wise professors encouraged me (and all other students) to write down thoughts to see what really interests me.  He said to write about what you are thinking about and themes will emerge.  These themes should be explored, clarified, and expanded.  When this hard work is done, you will know what you should study for doctoral work.

Well, I did that.  I completed it.  In fact, the final dissertation was better than I thought possible.  The process was exhausting, frustrating, fulfilling, and joyful (only when done!).  After completing this huge task I was worn out and in need of a break.  I had made the choice to be a pastor instead of an academic, so I had the luxury of taking this break.  I did so.

During this time I learned more about my craft of being a pastor, I taught at a seminary, I recovered from my time in graduate school (at least I hope I did?).  After a couple of years, I felt the need to move on, to write, to explore, to think within the Kingdom.  I had no idea where to start or what to do.  So I began this blog.  It was a form of therapy and a release of pent up ideas.  It also was following my wise professor's advice about writing oneself clear.

I wrote about the gospel, the Christian life, the Church, and life in the world.  Under these broad categories, I expressed and developed thoughts about prayer, evangelism, church growth, gospel-centered living, the importance of the Church, the fallenness of our world system, and many manifestations of the amazing grace of God.

This past two months I have read what I wrote.  I looked for themes.  I prayed over it.  God is doing something new, but what is it?  He is giving me that holy discontent that I need to do something more and different.  What is He saying?  What would my Lord have me to do?

This past week at First, I began an evening lecture series on reaching out.  I shared some ideas, but many folks obviously could not understand what I was saying.  They kept asking questions that assumed I was meaning the opposite of what I was really saying.  Obviously it was frustrating.  I hate when I don't communicate well.  Yet, in this I heard another voice.

"These folks do not have the categories to grasp what you are saying.  Give them these categories."  The words came from a friend who was there, but they rang true.  This blog was full of the ideas I was trying to express, but I need to clarify, explore, and expand what I meant.  What I am trying to say is nothing new.  In fact, I think it flows directly from the pages of scripture and it matches the testimony of God's work through Church history.  Yet, as Westerners living at the start of the 21st century, we lack the ability to hear the message because we have different categories in our mind that mis-shape God's plan for gospel-centered outreach.

Constructing and clarifying these categories are my task.  For my current church at First Seattle and for the many churches that cannot hear the music of gospel-centered outreach because they lack the mental and spiritual categories to hear and understand.  For individuals who are discouraged and feeling so very guilty for their lack of passion and seeming ability in outreach and evangelism, I need to offer encouragement and a different vision.

I have often said that all that is needed for an individual church to grow is for this expression of the Church to be the Church.  I hope to clarify that this means.

So, please pray for me as I think and write.  I also will be sharing some ideas, often not fully developed, in these pages.  May the Lord do as He will and establish the work of my hands (Ps 90).  May it not take the 4 or 5 years that my dissertation took to become reality (please Lord!).

I really have no solid idea of how to do this, how to organize my thoughts in a readable format.  I do appreciate any prayer and advice you can give.