Why do real Pastors sometimes drive us crazy?

The fact that we are called by God to love a particular person does not mean that the recipient of love will like it.  The specific, concrete love of God will often require us to love people who do not want our love in the way God requires us to offer it.  The love of God to sinners through us, whatever else it may be, is always the gracious demand to repent.  Even in the tenderest pastoral call on a gentle, faithful, persevering saint there is contained- implied if not stated- the quiet request to turn to God.  The saint who is under to God will always welcome it.  It is no threat, it is sheer joy.  But to the ill-tempered, the stubborn and the proud, all pastoral ministry, all pastoral love, will be a threat.

The call to repent assaults the Old Adam in us: the life of the flesh, our involvement in the sinful structures of this world, our stubborn refusal to yield to God's will.  We sheepish our sin, we clutch it, it kills us but we love it.  The gospel demands that we choose life, rejecting sin and its ungodly demands.  So the love of God in the gospel works like a surgeon.  Cutting out sin's cancer, with pain like death, the gospel heals.

Most of us do not like the surgical role of the gospel.  This is why we need God's specific definition of love to guide us in our work.  Every time the parishioner winces ever so slightly, we want to stop pastoring.  As Keirkegaard says, the pastor must "above all be able to put up with all the rudeness of the sick person without letting it upset him, any more than a physician allows himself to be disturbed by the curses and kicks of a patient during an operation.

David Hansen, The Art of Pastoring, 38-39.

In the past 48 hours, I have driven over 1100 miles, and I have three more hours of driving to complete before we reach our vacation destination.  Yesterday we surprised by children's great grandmother on her 90th birthday.  It was worth the hours of driving just to see the look on her face!  Now, I write a blog post for Monday just in case I do not feel like it on Monday!

I am just at the beginning of Hansen's book on pastoral life.  It has been so encouraging and enriching!  I thought I would share the above quote as an example of his great observations.  Most likely, I will share some more as the week goes on.

I find the first paragraph in the above quote so insightful.  I was told early on that I would not survive long as a pastor if I believed that everyone had to like me.  I remember thinking that odd; but as I trusted the one giving the advice, I placed the thought deep in my mind for further reflection.  

Most pastors like to be liked.  In fact, most of us would gladly give up power or authority for the privilege of being liked.  Many pastors have ruined a perfectly good church by giving in to this tendency!  Often we avoid gospel-centered confrontation to be liked.  Unfortunately this only empowers those not in line with God's will and direction.  It diminishes the pastor's ability to speak truth and love into a congregation.  It also is the opposite of love!  We end up with a worldly church.

Hansen is completely correct that the gospel call to repentance naturally leads to our rebellion against the call.  Some have grown in their walk of grace so they can handle the natural, hair-raising-on-the-neck, tendency against repentance.  They wince slightly, come before God in humility, and they come to repentance and faith.  These mature believers will grow in grace, and greatly appreciate a loving pastor who leads them to deeper repentance and faith.

Yet, to the proud, such a call is more than a slap on the face.  It is a spotlight on their sin, and they hate it. They often strike out at the light-bearer to try to put out the light.  These folks may be "church people."  They may even be leaders in the church.  In fact, the more reputation they have the lose, the harder they strike out at the light!

Yet, for a pastor not to bring the gospel to bear on all people, even the proud and controlling, is to neglect and ignore the call to pastoral ministry!  The gospel leads us to repentance and then faith.  Even if fallen people do not like to repent and believe, it is the central message of the gospel.  It is also the central message of pastoral work.

Does your pastor or another Christian leader sometimes drive you crazy?  Is this leader in touch with the gospel and acknowledging the grace of God as central in their life?  If they are, then the living out of the gospel might rub you wrong.  Many will question such a leader's motives.  They will even attack this leader as being arrogant and controlling.  Please notice that they accusations often perfectly match what the Lord is pointing out in the hearts of His people to whom He is calling to deeper repentance and faith!

In other words, avoid a Christian leader who always makes you feel good about yourself without calling you deeper into repentance and faith.  Such a leader is not a true pastor of the gospel.  They might be peddling self-help advice, but they are avoiding the real work of God, which is to draw us deeper into trusting the gospel.

Also, I would strongly encourage you to avoid Christian leaders who do not understand the gospel as demonstrated by their lack of emphasis on grace in the Christian life.  These folks will beat you up without ever pointing to Christ by faith.  

True pastors understand their need for the gospel, and they point you to your need for the gospel.  A good pastoral relationship will be marked by easy repentance and deep faith.  May this week be marked by the same in all of our lives!